Sharing living space with roommates is a defining college experience. By communicating expectations openly, respecting differences, and bonding over shared interests, you can build rewarding relationships with your roommates. Applying patience and wisdom creates a supportive home together.
Discuss Expectations Early
Before or immediately after moving in, have a meeting with roommates to get on the same page about expectations. Agree on approaches to cleaning, shared spaces, overnight guests, noise levels at different times, alone time needs, borrowing items, food sharing and other logistics respectfully.
Acknowledge that you won’t always see eye-to-eye. But hashing out differences diplomatically from the start prevents misunderstandings down the line. Be open to compromising.
Define Shared and Personal Spaces
Clarify which areas like bathrooms and living rooms are fully communal, and which spaces like desks are more private. Don’t use someone’s personal space without asking. Respect when roommates want privacy in their defined personal zones.
But also keep common rooms tidy for others’ use. As clinical psychologist Joshua Klapow emphasizes, “Defining shared and personal space is essential to avoiding boundary conflicts.”
Alternate Chores
Split up cleaning tasks like trash, bathroom duties, vacuuming, dishes, etc. You can trade off tasks on a weekly or monthly basis so the workload is evenly distributed. If needed, make a visible chore chart delineating who does what.
Try turning chores into fun bonding times, like playing music during cleaning. But also hold each other accountable for doing your fair share if issues arise. Equitable chore routines keep your home functional and hygienic.
Discuss Guest Policies
Do you need to ask permission before having friends over? Should partners sleep over only on weekends or a limited number of nights? Does having the apartment full of people ever get to be too much?
Agree on some ground rules around guests that accommodate social lives while ensuring privacy when needed. As psychotherapist Kathryn Smerling advises, “Guest policies prevent overcrowding tensions.”
Respect Sleep and Study Habits
Accommodate different sleep schedules and be mindful of noise, especially during exam periods. Use headphones if up at night to avoid disturbing early-bird roommates. Maximum quiet hours for focusing on studies can also help.
On the flip side, if roommates’ late night video gaming or music interferes with your sleep, politely explain the issue and propose solutions like using headphones.
Maintain Shared Bathroom Etiquette
Don’t leave messes or hog sinks and showers. Take only your fair share of shared toiletries. Communicate if replenishing communal products is needed. If your schedule requires extensive mirror time for grooming, find ways to accommodate others’ routines too.
Set expectations for bathroom privacy as well. Simply knocking before entering prevents uncomfortable encounters.
Coordinate Meal Plans
Plan together for communal meals, snacks, appliances and shelf space if you intend to share food. Split costs for household staples like milk, bread and toilet paper to save money. Just don’t eat others’ food without permission.
If needed, label special diet items that are off limits. But willingly sharing or cooking together sometimes also fosters friendship.
Respect Different Living Styles
You may be an early riser and your roommate a night owl. Or you meticulously make your bed each morning while your roommate’s space always looks chaotic. As long as you stay in your own lane, embrace these differences in living styles. Don’t judge or try to police how others live in their own space.
Keep Shared Areas Tidy
While bedrooms may be your sanctuaries, respectfully maintain common rooms. Promptly clean up your own dishes, trash and clutter. If roommates repeatedly leave messes, calmly request more consideration.
As therapist Katherine Glick notes, “When common living space becomes a source of tension, constructive communication is essential.” Find solutions together.
Discuss Pet Peeves Openly
If certain roommate habits like loud chewing or always interrupting bother you, don’t let small pet peeves fester into resentment. Politely explain how these behaviors affect you and ask if your roommate can work to improve them.
But also reflect on pet peeves you may need to improve for their sake. The goal is mutual understanding.
Split Shared Costs Fairly
Whether it’s replacing light bulbs, benefiting from a roommate’s Netflix subscription, or chipping in for group outings, keep tabs on shared expenses and take turns covering them. Don’t nickel and dime, but do balance things out over time.
Apps like Splitwise help track expenditures to ensure fairness. Or coordinate a shared petty cash fund upfront.
Intervene If Conflicts Arise
If tensions escalate, have a house meeting to air grievances constructively. State concerns using “I statements” rather than accusations. Listen without defensiveness. Brainstorm solutions and compromises. If needed, draft a roommate agreement codifying resolutions.
Unresolved conflicts can poison the home environment, so address issues head on before it reaches that point. But also give each other grace.
Bond Over Shared Interests
Make time for fun too! Bond over shared pastimes like sports, video games, favorite shows, or cooking. Explore each other’s hobbies. Excellent roommate relationships evolve when you invest in friendship.
University of Florida sociologist Georgianna Martin says, “Regular socializing creates the connectivity roommates need to thrive together.” Shared activities build rapport.
Approaching college housing with maturity, empathy and communication leads to rewarding roommate relationships, even through disagreements. By living the golden rule — treating others how you wish to be treated — you can create a happy home.
